Oh I fear letting you back in.
I fear making mistakes.
I fear commitment, and being alone.
I’m a constant contradiction. A downward spiral, spiraling our of control.
I don’t want to hear about your new girlfriend. Or how badly you want to fuck her.
I don’t want to hurt you, but I can’t help it.
I’m a destructive bomb, I blow myself and everyone around me into pieces.
I want what I can’t have, I crave everything toxic to my health. I’m the person I would hate to meet.
I’d love to act like I don’t care, but I’m neck deep in emotion and I can’t control what leaks out of me. Its apparent that I do, and maybe even too much.
I haven’t eaten since God knows when, and I wonder if I’ll ever sleep steadily again.
I fear death.
I fear making choices.
I fear being everything I am, because it’s everything I despise.