POETRY · Thoughts

Toxic

Oh I fear letting you back in.

I fear making mistakes.

I fear commitment, and being alone.

I’m a constant contradiction. A downward spiral, spiraling our of control.

I don’t want to hear about your new girlfriend. Or how badly you want to fuck her.

I don’t want to hurt you, but I can’t help it.

I’m a destructive bomb, I blow myself and everyone around me into pieces.

I want what I can’t have, I crave everything toxic to my health. I’m the person I would hate to meet.

I’d love to act like I don’t care, but I’m neck deep in emotion and I can’t control what leaks out of me. Its apparent that I do, and maybe even too much.

I haven’t eaten since God knows when, and I wonder if I’ll ever sleep steadily again.

I fear death.

I fear making choices.

I fear being everything I am, because it’s everything I despise.

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