Home doesn’t feel like home. Nothing feels the same.
In the times we struggle the most are the same times we are suppose to pull Jesus the closest we possibly can. But do you know how hard it is to maintain a relationship with God when you don’t feel like he’s even listening at all? When you don’t feel like you deserve to live, how can you seek out the only person who can be considered perfect?
Being a christian is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Sometimes I can’t silence the doubts in my head. I can’t let go of my earthly views that go against God’s word.
I’m struggling very much right now, I know that. It feels like maybe God is an excuse to make everything feel alright. A coping mechanism to all fears we have. It just doesn’t feel real all the time.
I try so hard, I do. But it’s so easy for my friends, why can’t I fully let myself go in faith?
I just can’t get the hang of this, I feel so off. So wrong. How can I bring him close when I can’t even tell who I am anymore?